For instance, some companies have a strict policy against dating among employees. If that’s true at your job, ask yourself if you’d really want to risk getting in trouble with your supervisors by acting on your feelings. Even if your company has a relaxed policy on office romances, think about other potential consequences. Would it create tension with other coworkers? How would you handle the office gossip?
For instance, if some of your coworkers are planning a weekend get-together, you might want to skip it if your crush will be there. If possible, limit your time around them at work, too. Don’t hang out with them in the break room during lunch, for example. If possible, avoid volunteering for projects that would involve working closely with them. [5] X Research source
For example, you might say, “I’m not going to indulge in fantasies about my coworker. If I have a sexual thought about them, I’ll just take a few deep breaths or have a drink of water and wait for it to pass. ”[7] X Research source Or, if you find that scrolling through your crush’s Facebook feed tends to trigger your feelings, simply unfriend or block them so you won’t be tempted to keep looking.
Doing things you love can also help you avoid less healthy ways of coping with your frustrations, like emotional eating or obsessing over your crush’s posts on social media. [10] X Research source
Joining a club or volunteer group for people who share your interests. Taking a class at a local college or community center. Making more time for fun activities with your friends, family, or other coworkers. Signing up for a dating app or going to meetups for singles in your area.
It can be helpful to label these thoughts when you notice them. For example, try saying to yourself, “I’m having unwanted thoughts about my work crush again. ” This takes a lot of practice and patience, so try not to get frustrated if you keep having these thoughts. The point isn’t to make them go away, but to help them feel less overwhelming when they do happen.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Once they’re out on paper, they may feel less overwhelming and urgent. You could even write a note to your crush, then destroy it. Doing a visualization exercise. For example, imagine that you are resting in the middle of a peaceful meadow, looking up at the sky. If you notice an unwanted thought, simply allow it to drift by, like a cloud. [16] X Research source Exercising or doing light stretches. This is not only great for stress relief, but it can also boost your confidence and give you something else to focus on aside from your crush.
Treat yourself the same way you would treat your best friend if they were in the same situation. Be patient as you work through your feelings, and try not to judge yourself harshly. [18] X Research source
When you have feelings for someone you see every day, like a coworker, it can take longer for those feelings to fade. Even so, as long as you don’t act on your crush, you will start to move on eventually.
Once you identify some of the reasons you’re so drawn to your coworker, think about possible solutions. For instance, you might look for people with similar personalities to date, or try to deal with any underlying insecurities or needs that might be triggering your attraction.
It may also help to vent to a friend or family member about how you feel.
