The stereotypical welfare mom has 10 kids, including a pregnant teenage daughter, all taking advantage of the dole. I have never personally known such a woman. Most of the mothers I know are women who forgo the usual round of job searches and day care so they can mind their homes and children in a loving and responsible way. We may not have paying jobs, but any mother, married or single, working or retired, will tell you that motherhood is a career in itself.
Yet we are constantly told we should go out and get real jobs. Yes, most of us are unemployed; do we really have a choice? Last time I looked, the unemployment rate was more than 6 percent. If the unemployed can’t find work, where are we moms supposed to look? The only jobs open to us are maid work, fast-food service and other low-paying drudgery with no benefits. How are we expected to support our children? Minimum wage will not pay for housing costs, health care, child care, transportation and work clothes that an untrained, uneducated woman needs to support even one child.
Many of us take money under the table for odd jobs, and cash from generous friends and relatives to help support our families. We don’t report this money to the Aid to Families with Dependent Children, because we can’t afford to. Any cash we get, even birthday money from grandparents, is deducted from the already minuscule benefits. We’re allowed between $1,000 and $3,000 in assets including savings and property, automobiles and home furnishings. We are told that if we have more than that amount, we should be able to sell some things and live for a year from the proceeds. Can you imagine living on $3,000 for a year?
As for child support, unless the money sent to the state by the father is greater than AFDC benefits, the family receives only $50 monthly. This bonus decreases food-stamp benefits. We are told that the state intends to prosecute “deadbeat dads” for back support. Seldom do news stories mention that, in the case of welfare families, the state keeps collected back support. Although this reduces the tax burden, none of the money goes to the children. Outsiders are led to believe that the children will benefit, and they do not. No wonder some welfare moms–and their children’s fathers–believe it’s not worth the effort to try to get the dads to pay up. If we could have depended on these men in the first place, we would not be on welfare.
So what about family values? Those of us who do not have a man in our lives do the emotional job of both mother and father. My daughter says she should give me a Father’s Day card, because I am just as much a father to her as a mother. On top of these two careers, we are told we should work.
We could hold down a minimum-wage job, unarguably the hardest work for the least amount of money, if we could find an employer willing to hire us full time (most low-wage jobs are part time). Unable to afford child care, we’d have latchkey children whose only good meal of the day would be school lunch. The whole paycheck would go to housing and job expenses. When we got home exhausted, we’d clean house, help with homework, listen to how the kids’ day went–feeling relieved if none of them had been teased for their garage-sale clothes. We’d pray that nobody got sick, because we couldn’t afford a day off work or doctor fees (welfare pays very little, but it has the important benefit of health care). We’d worry about getting laid off at any moment–in tough times, minimum-wage jobs are the first to go.
These fears cause stress that may result in child abuse. Many times we feel, no matter how hard we try, that in some way our children are being neglected if we are holding down a job. So we stay home. We’ve learned that we can depend only on ourselves. We don’t enjoy living at the poverty level, but we can’t see a minimum-wage job as the answer.
I believe that we single mothers must become self-sufficient through education and training. And that means both money and patience on the taxpayers’ part. I’m in my fourth year at college. I, and the other welfare moms I know at school, maintain a 3.0 grade average or better. Are we exceptions to the rule? Maybe not; perhaps people in my circumstances are more motivated to make better lives for themselves. Fighting the low self-esteem brought on by divorce and poverty, we have taken the difficult step, usually without a support system, of going back to school. By carefully scheduling classes and studying late at night, I have been able to care for my kids while learning TV and radio production.
College may be out of reach for many. By raising tuition and entrance requirements, most colleges and universities are barring us from their campuses. Even President Clinton’s proposed two-year training program may not help much. Vocational or technical schools mean training for low-paying jobs. Still, we’ll be told to find work or lose our benefits.
If the government keeps decreasing or eliminating the programs we and the children depend upon for survival, here’s what will happen: in a few years, instead of 5 million single women and their children on welfare, there will be 5 million single women and their children on the streets. I don’t know how many starving millions the United Nations is trying to help in Somalia. But if people keep picking on us, the United Nations will have to help the United States feed us.
