The woman shared to popular forum Mumsnet that she had been left feeling stuck on how to handle her friend’s birthday, which she promised to pay for, after her friend chose an expensive restaurant.
She explained in a post, while remaining anonymous, that she had planned to take her friend out to lunch on her birthday during a shopping trip. “It’s around two hours away and I paid for the train for us both (as it’s her birthday). I brought her a gift that was £65 ($84) and said I would treat us to lunch at a pub,” she wrote online.
After accounting for around £40 for the lunch, her friend told her she “wanted to go somewhere nicer than a pub” and instead decided on a Thai restaurant with a far higher price range. “It’s going to cost around £80 to £100 depending on if she orders two cocktails or just one,” she wrote.
“I can’t not pay now as I said let’s do lunch and it’s my treat,” she added. “I told her a few nice pubs and she said no to them all.”
Money is a common cause of issues between friends. In fact, a Bank of America study commissioned in 2017 found it to be the fourth-largest cause of stress in friendships just behind jealousy, gossip and disagreements.
Some 55 percent of respondents said they’d seen a friendship end before over money while 77 percent also said they believe “IOUs” are dangerous for friendships.
With money being such a relatable issue when it comes to friendships, it’s unsurprising that the majority of online responses backed the woman, concluding that she should simply be honest.
“You’ve already been very generous with the train tickets and gift so don’t hesitate to tell her that’s a bit out of budget,” wrote one user.
“I’d just book that and say the expensive place was fully booked when you called,” added another.
Others, however, took a less subtle approach, calling the friend out for seemingly being inconsiderate. “She should be embarrassed she chose somewhere expensive. Either way, say a cheaper place or she pays her own,” wrote one person.
“A real friend would be embarrassed to cause this situation. You already committed to a lot but she doesn’t know that yet. Go back to her and say it’s beyond your budget at the moment and give her two options: somewhere else that’s cheaper or split the bill,” concluded a user.
The mom responded to the support by explaining that she simply believes her friend doesn’t realize she’s “being pushy” and added that her friend also purchased her an expensive gift. According to the woman, they “fell into the habit” of spending lots on one another’s birthdays.
