Huckabee never once mentioned the names Mitt Romney, John McCain or Rudy Giuliani. But who do you think he was slamming with this smackdown analogy: “We have to have leaders who understand that being a leader is about being a thermostat, not a thermometer,” Huckabee said. “We don’t need thermometers, we need thermostats. A thermostat can read the temperature and understands what it is. But the sole purpose of a thermostat is to adjust the temperature for what it ought to be, not simply reflect what it already is. We can’t afford to elect people who simply reflect a culture and reflect a common view, but don’t necessarily believe it. We need thermostats who understand what the prevailing winds are but also understand what the prevailing winds and the prevailing principles must be if this great republic of ours is to survive.”

Thermostats. Face! Romney, McCain, Giuliani, you have been NAILED by the Huckman.

But Huckabee was just beginning to bring the hurt. Next, he targeted Romney individually, though not by name. “We hear a lot about those who have what is often called Road to Damascus experiences, on every issue from guns and same-sex marriage to the sanctity of life and taxes,” he said. “Some folks have had so many Road to Damascus experiences they’ve had more than a Syrian camel driver.” The quip got a few chuckles from the audience, but some also looked a little puzzled. Huckabee got in a few zingers, though, noting that he’s a supporter of the Second Amendment and a longtime member of the National Rifle Association and Ducks Unlimited–a dig at all three GOP frontrunners. “I was the first governor in America to have a concealed carry permit, so don’t mess with me,” he joked.

Now he had the crowd right where he wanted them: dazed, confused and a vaguely worried that they might not make it out alive for Giuliani’s speech at noon. To wrap up, he tucked into a powerful sermon that really must be experienced to appreciate. But since you couldn’t have the pleasure of seeing it yourself, we’re going to let you read it in its entirety, so you too can soak in its full rhetorical power:

Okay, we’re going to be honest with you here. We have no idea why we made you read that, except we had to sit through it, and that’s time we’re never going to get back. Judging by the bewildered looks of the crowd, not everyone was blown away by whatever message was buried beneath all those words. Huckabee’s speech was greeted with great respect, but there were some who still weren’t so sure about a Huckabee in the White House. Afterward, your Gaggler overheard a CPAC volunteer talking about Huckabee’s dramatic weight loss (he dropped more than 100 pounds in the last four years and has became a cheerleader for healthy eating and exercise.) “I like my candidates to have a little fat on them,” he said.

They thought, “Well, maybe it’s our grades.”

“No,” she said.

“Maybe it’s our behavior.”

And she told them, “No, it’s not even your behavior.”

And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing. Third period. By early afternoon television news crews had gathered in Ms. Cothren’s class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of the classroom. The last period of the day, Martha Cothren gathered her class. They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. And she says, “Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily.” She said, “Now I’m going to tell you.”

Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it, and as she did 27 U.S. veterans, wearing their uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the wall. And by the time they had finished placing those desks, those kids for the first time I think perhaps in their lives understood how they earned those desks.

Martha said, “You don’t have to earn those desks. These guys did it for you. They put them out there for you, but it’s up to you to sit here responsibly to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk, and don’t ever forget it.”

My friend, I think sometimes we forget that the freedoms that we have are freedoms not because of celebrities. The freedoms are because of ordinary people who did extraordinary things, who loved this country more than life itself, and who not only earned a school desk for a kid at the Robinson High School in Little Rock, but who earned a seat for you and me to enjoy this great land we call home, this wonderful nation that we better love enough to protect and preserve with the kind of conservative, solid values and principles that made us a great nation.