In a new online survey conducted by Beliefnet, 55% say sex is at least a part of their spiritual lives, with fully one third reporting, “my sexuality is an integral part of my spirituality”; 38% say they have prayed before or after sex, and 48% primarily define sex as “a gift from God.” Predictably, more women (61%) than men (50%) believe that there is one perfect soulmate out there for everyone. But, at least according to these respondents, men don’t view sex as just a good time: 51% of men say that sex is primarily “a gift from God,” compared with only 46% of women, and more men (38%) than women (30%) say sex is a central part of their spiritual lives. Some respondents (41%) use prayer or meditation to overcome problems like performance anxiety or fear of intimacy, and some say that spiritual awareness makes them less judgmental of their partners and therefore more generous lovers.
Conservatives and liberals integrate spirituality into their sex lives in different ways. Self-described conservatives, compared with their liberal counterparts, tend to believe in soulmates (69% to 44%), pray before or after sex (42% to 34%), and believe that sex is a gift from God (56% to 42%). Liberals are more secular about sex—49% define sex as “a physical act of pleasure”—but are more likely to use spirituality-tinged sexual practices: 44% have tried tantra, the Kama Sutra, couples yoga or prayers for intimacy, compared with just 24% of conservatives. These practices have evolved from religious thinkers who believed intense sexual pleasure is a powerful way for people to connect to their divine nature, not only to each other. Counselors and sex therapists think clients are helped by understanding sex in spiritual terms. Next June, the 2,000-member American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists is hosting a conference on “The Soul of Sexuality: Exploring the Depth and Dimensions of Pleasure.” The overriding message: for many, sexuality is emerging from the realm of guilt and sin and becoming instead a divine blessing and a way to reach new, transcendent heights.
